We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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