I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
