I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize