I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
