Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I AM VODKA MAN
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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