Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
