I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
