I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
