maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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