Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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