he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
