Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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