If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
