I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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