All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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