ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
