is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
