Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
