It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
