I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
