I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
