I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
