Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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