when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
