worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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