i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
