I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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