so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Randomize
