walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize