Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
