Buhtt sex?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
