On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
