Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
