like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
