hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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