I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
