Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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