Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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