Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
