playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
