She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
