I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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