yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
