Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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