Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
