he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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