He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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