So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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