How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
