Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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