I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
