trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Boobs are out for the taking
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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