What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just gargled with NyQuil
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
