So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Randomize
