My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
