so that wasnt chicken after all
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
