do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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