"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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