Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
