My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
